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Essential part of the Cannes kit: a badge and the chic 2015 blue Festival bag.
Photo: Richard Mowe
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Pallid, intense, obsessive, with eyes that blink excessively when exposed to strong light. Usually they hunt singly, or occasionally in pairs. They are to be seen swanning around the globe, often in stunningly beautiful settings, yet choose to scurry off to spend hours on end with others of their ilk slumped in the gloom.
Yes, you've guessed it: we're talking film festival anoraks (including certain critics) and today (Tuesday May 12) they are out in force in Cannes where the world’s biggest film jamboree (“the Olympics of Cinema”) starts tomorrow.
They've got the T-shirt, invariably several sizes too small, the courtesy Festival bag, the film company freebie goody bag, the shades, the shooting stick or equivalent, the autograph book, the finger flashlight for scribbling in the dark - oh, and sometimes, the anorak, again thanks to the generosity of a studio publicity budget.
Every year at this time the anoraks and the rest of the film community head lemming-like to the Cote d'Azur in the south of France, where the Cannes Film Festival rules the cinematic roost from 13 to 24 May.
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Cannes opener - Standing Tall (La Tête Haute) by Emmanuelle Bercot
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The legion of anoraks as well as journalists and media crews, numbering some 5000 alone - but, hey, who's counting? - plus tycoons, execs, wannabes, stars and starlets of both sexes and a few more besides, with hangers-on way down the pecking order and a whole army of heavies to keep them in order.
Then there's the protocol department, which ensures everyone is kept in their place. In Cannes, your status is determined by the quality of your badge, what colour it is and how many gold stars have been awarded for good behaviour and sycophancy. Without one you have no hope.
Anoraks can (and have) inveigled their way into the charmed circle. Otherwise, they simply stake out their territory from dawn until dusk around the Palais and its red-carpeted staircase, which sees the stars on parade every evening; or they pitch for prime slots at select hotels including the Majestic and the Carlton. Failing that they head for the Croisette promenade.
What motivates them? Their sole wish is to clock stars in the manner of trainspotters; then to queue for hours, only to see the very same personalities writ large on screen. They can watch films from 8.30 in the morning until the wee small hours, then retire, brain-dead, before beginning all over again. Copious amounts of caffeine, doughnuts and chocolate provide the source of fuel for such tests of endurance.
Already they're lining up for Croisette duty and salivating on the prospects for this year's festival where Mad Max: Fury Road storms in on Thursday and tomorrow (Wednesday) the Brothers Coen take up jury duty as joint presidents. Red carpet glamour will include the regal Catherine Deneuve ascending the steps of the Palais for Emmauelle Bercot’s low key opening title Standing Tall (La tête haute), a coming of age drama.
The festival, which has been subject to some criticism over the predominance of male directors included in the line-up over the years, is addressing the issue full on. For this edition and in partnership with luxury and sport brand group Kering, the first Women in Motion focus will take place.
Other potential highlights include Woody Allen's professor-meets-student affair Irrational Man; Sea of Trees from Gus Van Sant, Justin Kurzel’s take on Macbeth, starring Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard, Pixar's hotly-anticipated Inside Out, and the next opus from Gomorrah director Matteo Garrone Il racconto dei racconti. And Todd Haynes returns to the Croisette with the much-nticipated lesbian love story Carol, starring Cate Blanchett and set in Fifties New York.
There are now so many film festivals - at least one for every day of the year, somewhere around the globe - that even the most voracious film freak can sup and be satiated before recovering and moving on to the next. For the moment, let battle commence in Cannes.
