Escape From Planet Earth

Alien life forms have nothing but bad things to say about The Dark Planet. No one returns from there. Ever!

Evolution worked backwards apparently, beginning with benign vegetarian dinosaurs and ending with homo stupidos playing war games for real.

The planet Baab is technically on the next page. It copied a few of The Dark's progressive disasters, such as sponsorship and advertising, but its blue inhabitants prefer to watch TV rather than blow each other up.

Scorch Supernova (voiced by Brendan Fraser) is the leading astronaut/adventurer and an A-list celebrity. He shares certain characteristics with Buzz Lightyear, especially his self belief, which is impressive. No job is too difficult, no mission too dangerous. Until he goes to The Dark, because "I hear calls for help".

His brother Gary is Mission Control's master techy and Gary's son Kipper is as sharp as a pin, but too young, Dad says, to touch the equipment, which he does, naturally, and - whoops!! And then there's Mom, who is no sit-at-home hanky ironer, either.

Yes, you've guessed it. This family bears a striking resemblance to The Incredibles, except they don't have super powers. Despite this, they head off to The Dark to save Scorch and release the other aliens that have been captured by General Who'sthefascist, Earth's equivalent of Dr Doom.

In the animation game Escape would be dubbed a rookie. The writers and director are newbies and the look is different, not in a bad way, but oddly original.

The script encourages smiley faces, even in the soppy bits, and it's this, more than the storyline, that helps you love these little guys.

Speaking from a planet as wasteful and wasted as this one, there is nothing to say to Scorch and his crew except "Sorry".