Eating For Two

Eating For Two


Reviewed by: Angus Wolfe Murray

Rule One: simplify the set.

Rule Two: persuade Timothy Spall to do voice-over.

Copy picture

Rule Three: keep the laffs coming.

The scene is an English seaside resort, complete with chippie, pier, rain clouds and sand. Joe's missus demands sex on tap, not because she's gagging for it, but because she wants to hear the patter of little feet.

Joe's on his knees. He can't take much more. Why can't he be left to fry bloomin' haddock, without having to rush out and give her one under the pier every 15 minutes?

Finally, at teatime, he notices that she's wolfing down a fish supper, like she hasn't tasted crispy batter since yesterday fortnight.

"Hey oop!" he thinks.

"I've slept with God," she says.

"Oh, yes?" he thinks.

"Who's the father?" he asks.

She looks at him, as if his brain has leaked over the lino. The rain has stopped. Joe's life will change. She's eating for two now.

Double portions for the Son of God's mum, right?

Reviewed on: 15 Feb 2004
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Trying for a baby over fish and chips.

Director: Steve Smith

Starring: The voice of Timothy Spall

Year: 2003

Runtime: 3 minutes

Country: UK


EIFF 2003

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